{"id":14836,"date":"2022-08-17T09:01:34","date_gmt":"2022-08-17T09:01:34","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/psychotherapy-londons.com\/?p=14836"},"modified":"2022-08-17T09:01:34","modified_gmt":"2022-08-17T09:01:34","slug":"how-to-change-the-way-you-feel","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/mind55555.com\/tr\/2022\/08\/17\/how-to-change-the-way-you-feel\/","title":{"rendered":"HOW TO CHANGE THE WAY YOU FEEL"},"content":{"rendered":"

Many people believe that their bad mood result from factors beyond their control . They ask,\u201d How can I possibly feel happy ? My girlfriend rejected me . Women always put me down.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Or they say, \u201dHow can I feel good about myself? I am not particularly successful. I don\u2019t have a glamorous career. I\u2019m just an inferior person, and that\u2019s reality.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Some people attribute their blue moods to their hormones or body chemistry. Others believe that their sour outlook results from some childhood event that has long been forbitten and buried deep in their unconscious . Some people argue that it is realistic to feel bad because they are ill or have recently experienced a personal disappointment. Others attribute their bad moods to the state of the world \u2013 the shaky economy , the bad weather, taxes, traffic jams, the threat of nuclear war. Misery, they argue is inevitable.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Of course, there is some truth in all of these ideas. Our feelings undoubtedly are influenced by external events, by our body chemistry and by conflicts and traumas from the past. However, these theories are based on the notion that our feelings are beyond our control.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you say,\u201d I just can\u2019t help the way I feel .\u201d You will only make yourself a victim of your misery \u2013 and you will be fooling yourself because you can change the way you feel. If you want to feel better, you must realise that your thoughts and attitudes \u2013 not external events \u2013 create your feelings. You can learn to change the way you think, feel and behave in the here-and-now. That simple but revolutionary principle can help you change your life.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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To illustrate the important relationship between your thoughts and your moods , consider the many ways you might react to a compliment. Suppose I told you , \u201d I really like you. I think you area neat person.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

How would you feel ? some people would feel pleased and happy. Others might feel sad and guilty. Some people feel embarrassed and some would react with anger and annoyance.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

What explains such different reactions?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

It is because of the different ways they might think about the compliment . If you feel sad , you are probably thinking.\u201d Dr.Burns is just saying that to make me feel good. He is just trying to be nice to me , but he he doesn\u2019t really mean it.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel annoyed , you might be thinking, \u201d He is flattering me. He must be trying to get something from me. Why isn\u2019t he more honest? \u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

If you feel good about the compliment , you are likely to be thinking.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

In each case the external event -the compliment-is the same. The way you feel results entirely from the way you think about it, so your thoughts create your moods. This is also true when something bad happens. Suppose someone you respect critics you. How would you feel? You may feel guilty and inadequate if you tell yourself you are no good and the same problem is all your fault. You will feel anxious and worried if you tell yourself that the other person is looking down on you and is going to reject you. You will feel angry if you tell yourself that it is all their fault and they have no right to say such unfair things. If you have a good sense of self-esteem , you might feel curious try to understand what the other person is thinking and feeling. In each case your reaction will depend on the way you think about the criticism. The messages you give yourself have an enormous impact on your emotions. And what is even more important, by learning to change your thoughts, you can change the way you feel.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Examples about emotion and thoughts that lead to this emotion<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emotion is sadness or depression<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thoughts that lead to that emotion<\/strong>:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thoughts of loss; a romantic rejection; the death of a loved one; the loss of a job; or the failure to achieve an important personal goal.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

EMOTION IS GUILT OR SHAME<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thoughts that lead to this emotion:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You believe that you have hurt someone, or that you failed to live up to your own moral standards. Guilt results from self-condemnation , where as shame involves the fear that you will lose face when others find out about what you did .<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emotion is anger, irritation, annoyance, or resentment<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thoughts that lead to this emotion:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel that someone is treating you unfairly or trying to take advantages of you.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

EMOTION IS FRUSTRATION<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thoughts that lead to this emotion:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Life falls short of your expectations. You insist that things should be different . It might be your own performance(\u201d I shouldn\u2019t have made that mistake.\u201d) , what someone else does( \u201d He should have been on time !\u201d), or an event (\u201d Why does the traffic always slow down when I am in a hurry?\u201d)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Emotion is anxiety, worry, fear, nervousness, or panic<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thoughts that lead to this emotion:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You believe you are in danger because you think something bad is about to happen \u2013 (\u201d What is the plane crashes?\u201d) (\u201d What if my mind goes blank when I give my talk in front of all those people?\u201d) ( What if this chest pain is the start of a heart attack?\u201d)<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

EMOTION IS INFERIORITY OR INADEQUACY<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thoughts that lead to this emotion:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You compare yourself to others and conclude that you are not as good as they are because you are not as talented, attractive, charming, successful, intelligent. \u201d She is really got what it takes. She is so cute. All the men are chasing her, I am just average . There is nothing very special about me.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

EMOTION IS LONLINESS<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thoughts that lead to this emotion:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You tell yourself that you are bound to feel unhappy because you are alone and you aren\u2019t getting enough love and attention from others.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

EMOTION IS HOPELESSNESS OR DISCOURAGEMENT<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Thoughts that lead to this emotion:<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

You feel convinced that your problems will go on forever and that things will never improve. \u201dI will never get over this depression.\u201d or \u201d I just can\u2019t lose weight and keep it off.\u201d I \u2018ll never find a good job,\u201d or \u201d I\u2019ll be alone forever.\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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