DEFINITION:WORKING WITH LOW SELF-ESTEEM

Now is the time to tackle the beliefs , thoughts and action patterns we mapped out above .Specifically , the steps you need to take are:

1-Check out your anxious predictions.

2-Question your self-crtical thoughts instead of taking them at face value.

3-Learn to appreciate your qualities and treat yourself kindly.

4-Change the Rules.

5-Create a new Bottom Line.

Let’s check at each of these.

I will complete in Article 2 soon.

Checking out anxious predictions

Fearing you might break your Rules activates your Bottom Line , leading to predictions that, unless you take precautions , something bad is going to happen. Precautions stop you from discovering that what you predict might never happen, that even if it did the consequences might be less bad than you fear, and that you might deal with them better than you think. Checking out anxious predictions involves the following: identifying them precisely , questioning them , finding more helpful and realistic alternatives, and testing them through behavioural experiments.

Here is an example to illustrate how this might work in practice.

Ed’s story

Ed’s Bottom Line was’ I am boring’. His related Rule for living was’ I must always be the life and soul of the party , or people won’t wanr to know me’ He always had a fund of funny stories and interesting snippets of information , and never stopped talking lest someone realized how boring he really was. Actually this made him rather than exhausting companion. Ed set up an experiment to find out whether, if he was quiet when he had supper with friends , no one would talk to him, or want to see him again