HOW DEPRESSION AFFECTS COUPLES

Many of the suggestions focus upon how you as an individual can make changes to address your depression. However, you do not in a vaccum . Your own willbeing and how you behave can greatly influence your relationships. That is if you are depressed now and stay depressed you are more likely to develop relationship difficulties. The reverse is also true: if you are having a relationship difficulties now , you are more likely to become depressed . Of course , it would be overly simplisitic to suggest that relationship difficulties cause depression or that depression is the single cause of any relationship problemsyou might be having .

However, difficulties in one of these areas can contribute to problems in the other. The important thing for both you and your partner to keep in mind is that working jointly on your relationship can improve it, as well as help alleviate your depression . We recommend that both you and your partner to read what will be shown , discuss it and apply some of the principles and techniques as you address your depression together.

Although it is very common , obviously not everyone who is depressed is in a bad relationship . Some depressed people have very positive and loving relationship with their partner, and if that is true for you, it will make it easier for the two of you to work alongside each other on your depression . However, even if your partner is fully committed to working with y6oy, many people don’t know how to help when their level one is depressed.

Therefore, it can be very valuable to learn together about what you as an individual need to do to get over your depression and how the two of you can respond to a variety of circumstances related to it. Once you both know how depression works and how to combat it. Your partner can become a valuable resource .

JOANNE AND IAN’s STORY

Joanne and Ian are a couple that get into trouble as Ian tried to help with Joanne ‘s depression even though they have a respectful and caring relationship .Ian is an accountant; Joanne is a stay-at home mother to their two daughters , aged eight months and three years. Their younger daughter was born prematurely and has been an exceptionally fussy baby. Joanne became ver distressed over this, saying, ‘I can’t even calm my own babt.’

She felt like a failure in all aspects of her life because she was no longer a patient mother , and she was often in a bad mood by the time her husband returned home from work. Ian felt terrible when he saw Joanne cry . As a result , as soon as he got home, he told her to go lie down and that he would take care of everything .

He then proceeded to clean the kitchen , make dinner and get the kids off to bed . His efforts to ‘help out’ unfortunately made Joanne feel less competent as a mother and more depressed.

Helping well-intentioned partners know how to be of assistance in treating depression is one of our major goals.

There are two sections to focus on .

The first looks at communication skills in general, and shows how you can improve them. These skills are important because the lack of them can contribute so strongly to breakdown of relationships, with all the low mood and depression that this can bring .

The second section looks at how to use your relationship in a positive way when one partner is depressed , using the communication tools we discuss in the first section.