Knowing that a person who is grieving will move through the stages discussed may not help us to be with the bereaved person.  

There are tasks of mourning – that is, what needs to happen at the different stages or phases. If there is denial, the person needs to accept reality.  If there is anger or sadness, that needs to be experienced and so on. So, the tasks of mourning are:

Stage 1    To accept the reality of loss
Stage 2   To experience the pain of grief
Stage 3   To adjust to the new situation
Stage 4 To withdraw emotional energy from the loss and put it into a new situation or relationship.

The idea of “tasks” may be a hindrance. Tasks are seen as something to be done, to be completed.  The tasks of grieving are not like that as it may cause us to have expectations of the bereaved person.  But tasks can also free the bereaved person from feeling useless and enable them to take responsibility for their own grieving process.  It can also mean that some outside influence might facilitate grief.  

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