WILL IT BE HELPFUL OR HURTFUL IF I EXPRESS MY FEELINGS?

When you feel angrey , you might tell yourself , ” I have the right to feel this way!” Of course you have the right to feel any way you want, but the real question is whether or not you want to feel like that. Will it help you deal with the situation if you express your negative feelings? If the answer is yes, you should probably express them. If the answer is no , it may be better to change your feelings .

Suppose your five-year-old son runs out in the street to chase a ball. You may feel frightened and shout at him in an angry voice . This might make a more powerful and lasting impact than a claim and rational discussion about the dangersc of getting killed in traffic.

Your anger would be healthy and it might someday save his life.On the other hand, if a police officer is giving you a ticket shouting at him in an angry voice might have severe consequences. You might do better to count to ten and admit your error.

Many people are afraid to express their feelings , even when it’s clearly indicated . I recently treated a young woman who was reluctant to break up with her boyfriend becvause she felt guilty about hurting his feelings. For six month she kept stringing him along. She wasn’t really being kind to him , she was submitting him to slow torture . For months he had been depressed and confused because he couldn’t figure out where he stood with her. Once they talked things over honestly and she made it clear how she really felt , they broke up. Although he felt disappointed , he got over his disappointment in a couple of weeks and was able to get on with his life.